Jade's Transgender Journey

 What Pride Month Means to me About 2 years ago, as I started my transgender transitioning, I became part of the LGBTQ+ community. At this time, I honestly did not understand the importance of the community; but since then I have met and talked to countless new people who I may not have ever had a chance to meet before. Because of these opportunities, I have heard many stories, often explaining how many of them were alienated from their family, friends, and even employment at times. All of these is something I can relate too. Many people have families to go home to who are proud of them. Unfortunately, many of us LGBTQ+ people have fewer people proud of us. Just because we were created with different wiring, we are often less than human in the name of religion and/or politics. I pray for additional awareness for peace and equality. So, what does Pride Month mean to me? It means we are not alone, and we are proud of each other for having the courage to live as our authentic...

  Friends and Family, I really do understand on how difficult it may be for some of you to understand and support that the person you have known for over 50 years is transgender.  Since telling the world almost 2 years ago, I have often put myself in your shoes.  If someone I knew did the same thing, and because of the limited knowledge I had about transgender at the time, I most likely would have been pretty upset as well.  However, because of the love I would have had for that person, I would have not only tried to support them, I also would have tried to educate myself more on the topic.  By now, most people should have heard me speak about Gender Dysphoria, and that I am transgender because of a life long struggle that I have endured with it, which has caused depression, anxiety, anger, frustration, and even contributed to my seizures. I ask, if you were dealing with a deabiliatating health condition, would you not hope that your friends and family would try...

 The Love I am Blessed With I often reflect upon myself, and wonder how and why I am the person I have become. I am not just referring about me being transgender, but the heart I carry deep inside. First, I need to give some credit to my upbringing.  I was Blessed to have a mother that loved life and others like no one I have ever known.  She taught me to not only look for the good in people, but also look at the good in situations.  Then as I grew older, I developed my love through my faith as a Christian, which ultimately lead to me becoming an ordained minister.  Basically, I learned to develop a level of love that seems to be hidden by most of the world. Not that I am any more special than others, but it pains me knowing that others do not see the beauty and love the world offers.  Now, as a transgender person, the only way I can maintain Happiness is to remember this level of love I learned to endure.  Unfortunately, the world cannot see how my wi...

Lord, I am Sorry... Sometimes we live our lives and not appreciate what we have and who we are as a person.  Sometimes, we need to take a deep look inside to discover who we have not been.  With this in mind, these words have fallen on my heart over the past few years: Lord, I am sorry for seeing the ugly person in the mirror, but not seeing the Beauty you made me inside. Lord, I am sorry for once being transphobic, while only being afraid to discover my authentic self.  Lord, I am sorry for once being homophobic because I did not understand Biblical historical context, which prevented me in knowing so many wonderful people that you created. Lord, I am sorry that I allowed all the fears of being myself to cause me so much anxiety and depression, which has effected so many. Lord, I am sorry that I did not know how to talk and tell others who I am, that special person you created. Lord, I am sorry that I do not know how to educate those who hate those who you created differ...

 Why is our Equality Not Equal?      It has been a little while since my last post.  To say that I have been facing some challenges would be an understatement. Some day I may share them, but for now, I am keeping these particular ones private.      Now, that I have a pretty good understanding on what Transgender is, the concept of not understanding it does not make any sense to me.  Now, that I look at things with a different perspective, I started looking at other situations in our society.  I have always been proud to be an American, a place where people from all around the world come to for a better life. "Life, Liberty, and the Pursue of Happiness" is the American dream.  Unfortunately, for those of us who live here know that things are not always like they are meant to be.  Here are just a few examples of the hypocritical issues that effects our society: 1.  Openly practicing religion is public schools is not acceptab...

       Since the beginning of my journey as a transgender person, I have had the privilege of talking to many wonderful people.  What I have found very interesting is, many of us have had one particular thing in common, most of us have been afraid to be who we are and to transition. With all of the things I have done and gone through in my life, transitioning is by far the scariest thing I have ever done.  I thought I would lose all of my friends, family, and maybe even any career options. With one medical condition, a condition we have not chosen, can effect every part of our lives. Well, after transitioning, I have discovered some awesome Blessings; and those hidden Blessings included not only discovering who loves me unconditionally, but also that I have actually inspired others to do the same.  I am not sharing this because I believe I am any more special than anyone else, but if I can do it, anyone can. So, my hope and prayer is that for anyone wh...

    Who is familiar with the phrase, "Crying is a sign of weakness"?  Personally, this is a phrase that I am far to familiar with.  Looking back during my adolescent years, I remember being a very emotional person.  With now having a better understanding as a transgender person, I believe in having those emotions back then makes more sense.  Unfortunately, with heart ache after ache, those feelings turned into frustration, which turned into resentment, which turned into a callused heart.  After all, "men do not cry", which was a large part of my social upbringing.  I do not believe anyone had malicious intent in trying to make me a "better man"; but little did they know there was more to the story, which was "Not open to discussion".  I can hear that phrase being scolded to me over and over again, "End of discussion!".  I cannot help but wonder, if others knew who I really was, and if they knew what transgender really is, would I have b...

       After starting my HRT (Hormonal Replacement Therapy) little over a year ago, I am excited that I am almost at the therapeutic levels. Because of other underlining medical conditions, these steps have taken me a little longer than other people. For those who may not know, I deal with a lot of anxieties, high blood pressure, and sensitivities to temperature, which can effect everything. Well, I was recently informed by my doctor that once my hormone levels are stabilized, a lot of these issues can be expected to improve, including triggers for my seizures.  The exciting part now is, as I now start my therapeutic dosage of estrogen, I will become even more the person I am inside.  So, you all can expect even more changes in the future.  Even though I realize many people may not understand what I am doing, or why I am doing it, I am excited to say that all this is helping me be a Happier and Healthier me.  So, with these updates, I am even more...

       After only sharing my story and blog for about 15 months with 31 previous blogs, my Blog has had 2,000 views.  I still remember when I started on this journey, I thought I would have little to no support; but now to see this, I feel so humbled.  For those who may be interested, the following stats is from the countries that have been viewing my blog: United States: 1,790 views  United Kingdom: 52 views Canada: 33 views Ireland: 25 views India: 22 views Sweden: 20 views Australia: 12 views Germany: 8 views United Arab Emirates: 4 views Brazil: 4 views Japan: 4 views Malta: 3 views Philippines: 3 views Switzerland: 2 views Honduras: 2 views Netherlands: 2 views Trinidad & Tobago: 2 views Ghana: 1 view Jordan: 1 view Other countries: 9 views I Hope and Pray that this Blog has helped at least a few people, and maybe helped with awareness as well.  Thank you All for all of your support. Big Hugs, Jade

 SEX- THE TOPIC SEX, the topic that all of us transgender people cannot avoid. "Normally", one's sex life is no one else's business, but apparently for transgender people our romantic life is open for everyone to question?  I can understand one's curiosity, but the boldness so many has towards us amazes me.  Believe it or not, a lot of people actually want to know how my wife and I have sex.. OMG.  My response is oftentimes want to ask them the same question.  Do people really take a moment to consider such a question before they ask it?...there's a thought. SPOILER ALERT:  We don't.  Most  "transgender people" have little if not no sex life.  So, these erotic fantasies of us "trans" is not a reality.  So all these "She/male, Tranny" common beliefs is fictional.   FACT: Those of us who are on HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) and MTF (Male to Female), the hormones over-rides our sexual performance, which means we cannot do it ...

It Does Not Have to be Hard It does not have to be hard, but why is it?  This is a question that I have asked many times since I started learning about transgender.  Now, I can honestly say, being transgender in itself is not typically hard, but by the way some people treat us for being transgender can be. One can expect strangers to treat us differently, but that is not where the pain comes from.  As a global moderator for a transgender support group, most of us have the same pain in common, we are mistreated and alienated by family members.  The very same people who we should be able to turn to for unconditional love and support, would rather disown us than face their prejudices towards transgender.  As we come close to the Christmas holiday, most of us have little to no family that wants to celebrate the holiday with us.  Regardless of the geography, there are families disowning their loved ones for having a medical diagnoses.  This is not to say th...

 Where Did I Find Support?      When I was diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria by my neuropsychologist, being transgender was confirmed.  Now what do I do?  What is next?  What do I wear?  What do I tell my friends and family?  These were just some of the questions that I had. I was anxious, and I was scared of the unknown in what was next, what to expect.  Maybe if I could find others like me, I could get some advice, some support?  Considering that I never met another transgender person in my life, where could I find others to talk to?  I was relieved that I was finally diagnosed, but I was also lost.  Yes, I had a professional therapist, who I saw every couple weeks for an hour, but she could only do so much.  So, I looked for more support; and considering the transgender community is so small, finding a local support group was very difficult. I googled transgender chat groups, but most were focused on sex chat, which ...

 Seizures are Starting Again, Why?     For those who do not know, I have seizure disorder; and in 2017 I was told if I did not get my seizures under control, they would kill me.  For about 2 years I had trouble with mobility and even required a hospital bed, wheel chair, and home health care.  After doing some deep soul searching I was able to start to discover myself as my authentic self as a transgender person.  Then in the spring of 2020, I saw a neuropsychologist, who confirmed that I was transgender suffering from gender dysphoria, which was most likely subconsciously contributing to my seizures. A weight was lifted off my shoulders, I started my transitioning, which resulted in my seizures slowly starting to subside.  In the past couple of years I have been able to do things that I thought I would never be able to do again, so why is my seizures starting again?  Well, like before, I have to be honest in what triggered them.  You see, be...

 I never knew it was possible      As far back as I can remember, I always carried some level of anxiety, depression, and even anger.  As I fought what seemed to be one battle after another, I never could pin point where all of those frustrations came from.  As I learn more about myself and help others like me, I shake my head and wonder why did I have to make it so hard?  I had so many false beliefs about so many things. Like many people, what I believed about transgender was so wrong, and it prevented me from discovering myself.  I use to struggle with my Christian faith because of my misunderstanding of the Scripture. I remember carrying so much anger in my heart that it turned to hate.  Now that I am helping others, I often see the same frustrations and hate in others, and it breaks my heart. Today was the first time in quite awhile that I woke up feeling at peace.  Instead of being reminded of who I believed I had to be, now I can j...

     With a lot of new positive developments and adjustments, it has been a little while since my last Blog.  For me, my life is currently feeling surreal. After over 50 years, I am now finally able to live as my authentic self.  It has almost been a year since I disclosed to the world of who I really am, and what a journey it has been.  Being able to live as who I am is something I have been missing.  Since the beginning of my transitioning, I have discovered a level of peace and happiness that I never knew was possible. Last year, I was scared to death, now I am Happy.  Even though my name was legally changed almost 3 months ago, the reality is finally setting in.  This morning I woke up with no anxiety, no depression, with little worries, a combination that I have not felt in many years.  Actually, I do not believe I have ever felt this level of peace and happiness.       So, what is next?  It is time to live ...

  ASSUME NOTHING Since my transitioning, I have learned many things, some good, some not so much.  Perhaps, the biggest challenge has been the Assumptions made by so many.  Some Assume I "want" to be a woman,  some Assume my transitioning is about sex, some Assume that my sexual orientation has changed, and some Assume I am a different person.  What I have recently discovered is what I believe is the most important, I to have been Assuming.  I have Assumed "everyone" would hate me for my transitioning.  I have Assumed my community would not accept me, and so much more.  Even though some may not accept me, most Assumptions are Not True.  When we Assume, we put up walls, which effects both sides.  So what is better, Live in Fear, or Live in Peace?  I chose Peace. Hugs, Jade

 Since I have been living as a transgender person, there is one definite myth by many about transgender people which is the biggest by far. For those who are not educated on the topic of transgender, oftentimes resulting in them being transphobic, usually believe transgender transitioning is all about sex.  However, this is so far from the truth; and it amazes me on how some people can take someone's health and personal peace issues and pervert them to justify their phobias and mistreatment of others.  Perhaps, it is because that is human nature for things that are different, to be afraid and to act out.  In fact, I have had multiple ex-girlfriends state that I could not be transgender because I am not gay.  Well, they are partially correct, I am not gay; but why should that matter?  Also, they are exes for a reason, they never knew me for who I really am.  Another thing many people want to know is, "how do you and your wife have sex?  What??...

      Since I disclosed my authentic self to the world, I have received more support than I could imagine. However, I have also faced some Transphobic people as well.  Even though the positive people in my life dwarf the negative ones in comparison, the few negative experiences can be very disappointing, even hurtful at times. Like all of my posts, I hope this one will help teach awareness on how difficult it can be in being transgender.      Last month, I had to go to court so I could get my name and gender marker legally changed. During that time, I had to testify on how I have been bullied, harassed and discriminated because of being transgender. Even though testifying was very difficult, it was also liberating, especially considering that I won the motion. Unfortunately, the novelty of that victory is only felt for a short time. The reality is, there will always be some people who will never except me for being me.  So far, I have had family m...

      It has been almost 9 months since I told the world I am transgender, 7 months since I started HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy), 2 months since I started estrogen, and one week since my legal name change.  Now, I sit back and ponder over my journey, what a ride.  All my life I have struggled with social awkwardness, with so many things I simply could not understand.  From not knowing who I was growing up, to being who some expected me to be, while being named after the person who abused me throughout my  life, I lost my identity.  The level of depression and anxiety was beyond understanding and toleration.  The haunting memories alone made life difficult living.  Fortunately, in the past year, I have been able to start to develop my own identity.  In the past week alone, I have discovered a level of peace that I did not know ever existed.  It is difficult to explain, but I am now discovering who I really am...not the new ...

  7/21/21 Before my name and gender marker hearing      Yesterday was a day that I am going to remember for the rest of my life, the day I was given my own identity.  All my life until now I have carried the identity as a Junior and male.  Even though I believe it can be honorable in being named after someone, but it can also be difficult for the person.  For me, I struggled with my name for a few reasons including struggling with self identity, gender dysphoria; and every time I signed my name, I was reminded of the one person who has mistreated me most of my life.  Imagine living all your life with that pain and anxiety.  So, yesterday when I had to testify about some of the events in my life, the emotions were overwhelming. What was amazing was, I was expecting two hearings; but because of my extenuating circumstances the judge offered to do it all right there and then. My feelings of emotions took over and I could not hold back the t...

 You are not alone The thought of being alone can be very scary.  I remember when I was diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria, my Neuropsychologist told me, "You are not alone".  Little did I know how True she was.  Because I knew I needed to transition for my health and peace, I was afraid.  Not only was I afraid and preparing to lose everyone in my life, I was also preparing to not having anyone else who can relate to who I am.  Honestly, when I was diagnosed as transgender with gender dysphoria, I did not know as much as I thought I did.  I thought with some medication and dressing differently was it, but it is so much more than that.  Since then, not only did I learn about the "real" science behind Transgender and Gender Dysphoria, but I realized what it entails, and that I am not alone.  I am not only not alone with with friends and family, but there are many people like me in the world, and there are a lot of resources for us. Recently, I hav...

 "I want your suicide rate to go up" was the first topic that was on my mind this morning while I was in the shower getting ready for today. Why?  Like always, I check my Facebook, and I sign in on a public online support group for transgender persons.  Unfortunately, that group is like life, it is not always a safe place.  Someone solicited and told me that this morning: "I want your suicide rate to go up" because of being transgender.   Even though that person was banned from the group, it still happened. The other day, someone asked me, "How do you handle the negative feed back because of your transition?" Historically, the heart break has been from some family members and acquaintances in their non-acceptance, which I understand.  In the past week, I know of 3 other transgender persons that have been asked to commit suicide because of who they are.  Wow.  Apparently, 60% assaults', 40% suicide attempts and 20% suicide success rates a year...

Did you know that the original Protocol to treat Gender Dysphoria is over 41 years old?  In other words, transgender and gender dysphoria is not a new development, nor is it a fad. Maybe if this information was available to me sooner, I could have lived a happier and healthier life sooner.   Unfortunately, this information was not revealed to me until last year when I was 48 years of age.  One can only wonder, "How many suicides, murders, assaults and discrimination could have been prevented if this information and treatment has not been swept under the rug for over 4 decades?"  This is why I decided to write this blog, and this is why so many are lobbying for more rights for those of us who are born different as transgender persons.  If I transitioned earlier, would my life have been different?  I am sure it would have been, including I may not have had my children, which is a Blessing to me.  However, who knows, there could have been options, as...

HRT, not a topic that I have shared much here, perhaps it has been because I did not know how to.  Before I get into sharing my HRT details, I want to take the time to thank all of you for your interest in my journey.  I never expected so many to be interested, Thank you.  Before I share how HRT is positively effecting me, I believe I am obligated to share what it is, and why transgender persons oftentimes need it.  HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) is a medical treatment for those who need medical intervention for having a hormonal imbalance, some examples includes male ED (erectile disfunction), menopausal women, and transgender persons.   Why is HRT so important for transgender persons?  For us transgender persons, we realize that each of us our journey and needs are different, and so is our journey in transitioning.  However, for many of us, HRT is necessary to not only assist in our physical appearance and characteristics, but most importantl...

  The above text was from a meme that a Facebook friend shared.  I do not believe this person is a bad person, just mislead and socially programmed in transphobia.   The following is my answer.  My hope and prayer is that by teaching awareness will help teach awareness, and prevent further discrimination and violance.  My Response:  "What about women who are born with those famous chromosomes, but are infertile from a birth abnormality, are they still female? Another example: If a person was born with a facial abnormality, would it be okay if that person had facial surgery for the sake of the person's mental health and development? If so, why is it not okay for transgender persons to do the same? Transgender (gender dysphoria) is not a new development, but it is fairly new in teaching public awareness. Here's some statistics: 1 out of 2000 persons in the United States are born with both sexes...who are they? 1/2 of 1% of all persons in the United State...

  UPDATE: I was Blessed today to be able to be a small part in helping get our community beach open; and I was able to have a few conversations today with fellow Believers, including sharing some of my journey as a transgender person. These conversations helped me realize that maybe I should offer an opportunity for others to feel comfortable in talking to me about their questions. So for this reason, maybe it is now time to offer such an opportunity. Not only is it important for my transition as a person; but I also feel Called to support other persons similar to myself and help teach awareness. Maybe by awareness, the statistics of violence and suicide of transgender persons will decline. After all, we all are born in God's Image, and through Faith Jesus we all are saved. So, if anyone has any respectful questions, I am interested in further discussions. Thank you all for your Love and Support. Loves, Hugs, and Blessings to All, Jade - I welcome comments here or emails for s...

  My journey as Jade has been so interesting. I "never" thought I would receive the support that I have. Honestly, I expected to be hated by most with few friends and needing to live on a deserted island. Not only have I discovered that many people care and love me for me, some have reached out to me. Some are going through a similar journey, while some can relate or want to understand more. Is it possible? We all are born different, some of us require medical intervention at birth, while some of us it is needed as we get older. Regardless our diversity, we all are created different, but yet, still made in our God's Image. I believe embracing these differences shows God's Glory, and ultimately why He sent His one and only Earthly born Son. It's our differences that makes us special, which is why He created us as such. I walk in faith as a Child of God. :) John 3:16-19, " For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever belie...

      Even though I know transitioning for me is saving my life, and will eventually be worth it, it is not easy by no stretch of the imagination. I could go into how learning so much and adapting to the hormones are difficult, but that is not what I am referring to today.  I remember when I shared how scared I was to go out in public as my authentic me to one of my loved ones, him and my fiancé said they would go with me to keep me safe.  Even though I never doubted their sincerity, the reality is, this is a journey I need to walk myself.  For example: On a daily basis, I rarely go out in public in fear of discrimination; and when I do, my anxiety is through the roof, and I just want to get back home.  The thing is, I have been out many times, and nothing has happened.  I realize that I am missing out on so much, but the transitional journey is a lot to process on all fronts.  Throughout these many months, I have talked to others in the same...

 The Haunting Past JUST SHARING: When I knew I needed to see neuropsychologist because of my complex and rare type of seizures, I started to do my home work. One of the assignments is to write a log. Overall, that log almost ended to be a book, a biography. By the time I hit the age of 20, I discovered more about myself than I ever wanted to remember. I have not looked at that in 3 years, the same time I discovered that I was transgender. I'm afraid to write the rest to date... Jade

 If you only could live as the real you, not for other people. If you only could look in the mirror, and like what you see? If you only could live with less anxiety, with more happiness? If you only could love who you are as a person, instead of looking down on yourself? If you only could know who really loves you for who you are, instead of their ideas of you? If you only could know who your real friends are, instead of possible hidden agendas? These use to be the questions I would ask myself, If only... Now, I live as my authentic self Now, I look in the mirror and smile at who I see Now, as I transition, my anxiety is lowering, and I am discovering personal happiness. Now, I know who really loves me. Now, I know who my real friends and family are. If you only could do the same, would you? Hugs,  Jayde

 Since my public disclosure of me being Transgender because of my gender dysphoria this past November, it has been a major roller coaster ride.  However, I can honestly say that this was probably the most important decision I could have ever made.  Not only did I discover the Real Me, I also discovered that there are people in my life that "really" do love me.  I have always had quite a few people in my life who I thought cared about me; but now I know that quite of few people really do love me.  Yes, there still are a few people who are struggling with their understanding, but it is getting much more easier.  The support has truly been overwhelming in a good way.  I have never been able to look in the mirror and smile like I can now.  For this, I am so grateful for so much.  The support system from friends, family, medical professionals and my community as a whole has been amazing.  Because of all this, I believe I can honestly say, I h...

  PERHAPS THE BEST WAY TO UNDERSTAND GENDERY DYPHORIA: When a human fetus is conceived, all fetus's are neither male or female, but more female; and at about 7 weeks, gender starts to develop. In order for a healthy and "normal" person to develop gender wise, physical, neurological, and psychological path ways need to match. When one or two of these do not match, gender dysphoria can develop. When a person's emotional / psychological development does not match physical gender, the anxiety and depression can be so bad that physical transitioning becomes necessary. Like myself, some people will try to live based off of physical gender birth to please others. Unfortunately, this can lead to serious health problems, which is exactly what happened to me.... I was able to "fake it" for 48 years, while carrying so much pain, depression, and anxiety to last a life time... maybe this will help a little more for others to be more educated on Gender Dysphoria. - H...

 Well, it has been two months since I disclosed to the world about my gender dysphoria and that I will be transitioning. Overall, I have been pleasantly surprised on the support I have received by so many. Unfortunately, there have been a few who just do not know how to process it, which is understandable. However, the past few weeks the challenge has not been about others processing my transition, but with myself. There is so much more to transitioning than just putting on clothes, make-up, and changing ones name. For me, the big challenge is the emotional development part of it all. All my life I buried the super sensitive side of me, and I tried to be more aggressive for my success; but it was not the real me. Now, since I opened my heart with my authentic self, the deep emotions, feelings, and behaviors started to re-develop. I am finally allowing myself to feel and to approach things by what comes natural. This is the challenging process, really learning how to be me. Be...

  MAYBE Now that I am without an "official" clergy assignment, I may take this time to share my story as a transitioning transgender person. The struggle is real and the battles are on all fronts. However, my prayer is by sharing this, maybe more people will understand that gender dysphoria is real just a little bit more. The how's', why's, and what if's I may be able to cover a little better. For example: Why did it take 49 years to address it "officially"? Can I be "healed" from it?, and so much more.... Maybe God waited so long so I would be courageous enough to face it? Maybe He waited for the time to be right to share that we all are born different for a reason.... just maybe? Maybe I do need to be healed, or maybe humanity's heart and soul needs to be addressed all around without prejudice? I love to talk about God's Word and quote it, which I can do; but "maybe" He's asking more from me, to "walk it...

Jade – 30 Days Public      Well, after 30 days of disclosing publicly that I have been diagnosed with gender dysphoria and that I will be transitioning from male to female, it has been an emotional roller coaster ride to say the least. At first, I honestly did not know what to expect, maybe on the good side have a few supporters. I expected to be another national statistic by being majorly hated and discriminated by most. However, the opposite happened, and the positive support has been overwhelming. From day one of disclosing to our church family, to friends and family, to even our new community, I prepared for the worse. Since then, I have discovered that Happy Tears do exist, which is something I was not allowed to appreciate throughout my young 49 previous years. I cannot express in words on how much I appreciate the levels of humanity that has been given to me recently. Painfully, this does not apply to everyone. Unfortunately, not all welcomed my diagnoses. ...

 The following is the link to the video disclosure I shared to the church and the world: Just Imagine

  WOW, WHAT A DAY: First, I got cleared for some volunteer service in my community; and then I had a couple unexpected conversations. The first one was with a fellow community minister / civil servant, and boy did we get deep into life challenges and how our Lord applies to them all. Ultimately, I ended up disclosing my dysphoria, and he openly accepted me for who I am. Then out of no where, one of my siblings contacted me, and we talked on the phone for a little while. He told me what was going in his life, and I disclosed what was going on in mine.... His response, "Why were you scared to tell me? I still love you. " OMG, I am feeling so overwhelmed in personal liberation and happiness, finally able to be who I am. All those personal fears are going away, and I am feeling on top of the world. How far my dysphoria is going to take me is not sure; but after 49 years, I have discovered peace and happiness on levels I never thought would was possible. I feel so Blessed ...