I Never Knew It Was Possible Post #27
I never knew it was possible
As far back as I can remember, I always carried some level of anxiety, depression, and even anger. As I fought what seemed to be one battle after another, I never could pin point where all of those frustrations came from. As I learn more about myself and help others like me, I shake my head and wonder why did I have to make it so hard? I had so many false beliefs about so many things. Like many people, what I believed about transgender was so wrong, and it prevented me from discovering myself. I use to struggle with my Christian faith because of my misunderstanding of the Scripture. I remember carrying so much anger in my heart that it turned to hate. Now that I am helping others, I often see the same frustrations and hate in others, and it breaks my heart. Today was the first time in quite awhile that I woke up feeling at peace. Instead of being reminded of who I believed I had to be, now I can just be me. I love seeing my name on things. I love seeing what HRT is doing to me physically; but most of all, I love how it is helping me emotionally. It seems all the resentfulness is slowly melting away, and loving emotions are taking its place. Now, instead of crying out of anger, I can now cry just because of being happy and feeling good. I am now finally able to feel things better emotionally. Looking back throughout my life, I can see the writing on the wall of who I was, but I could not see it then. I have so much to be Blessed for; and instead of fighting the tears of Joy, I embrace them. Wow, I never knew it was possible for me to feel so good about myself.
I am Blessed and I am Happy in who I am.
Hugs,
Jade
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