The Painful Reality of Transitioning - Blog #13

      Even though I know transitioning for me is saving my life, and will eventually be worth it, it is not easy by no stretch of the imagination. I could go into how learning so much and adapting to the hormones are difficult, but that is not what I am referring to today.  I remember when I shared how scared I was to go out in public as my authentic me to one of my loved ones, him and my fiancé said they would go with me to keep me safe.  Even though I never doubted their sincerity, the reality is, this is a journey I need to walk myself.  For example: On a daily basis, I rarely go out in public in fear of discrimination; and when I do, my anxiety is through the roof, and I just want to get back home.  The thing is, I have been out many times, and nothing has happened.  I realize that I am missing out on so much, but the transitional journey is a lot to process on all fronts.  Throughout these many months, I have talked to others in the same journey, and most of them feel the same way.  All I can do is keep walking and let my confidence build.

     Another challenge I am having now is, I miss my loved ones.  Why God brought us to a different state, hundreds of miles from our friends and family, I do not know for sure.  Was it for us to have a safe place for my transitioning?  Was it for us to have a fresh start, or does He have something bigger planned?  Regardless, we knew this journey will not be an easy one.  Knowing this is one of the biggest challenges of my life, I need to keep the faith in my Heavenly Father and walk with His Son.  I wonder how scared David was when he fought his giant.  God's Got this.

Big Hugs to All who needs one.

Jade

Comments

  1. AnonymousMay 29, 2021 at 8:30 PM

    Jade no transition is easy, but you are handling yours with grace and dignity. I'm proud of you. I'm going through sorta of a transformation myself, not quite yours but nonetheless I'm going through a transformation. I have decided that I'm going to cut people out of my life who don't bring anything to my life or who don't want to see my be successful. I'm finally learning to love myself and won't stand for anything less. It's hard to let go of people who I thought were my friends.I'm trying to live my best life. I know God has me in the palm of his hand. Peace and love.

    Numbers 6:24 May the Lord bless and keep you, may the Lord make his face shine on and be grace to you, may the Lord lift his coutanence upon and give you peace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jade WinnerMay 29, 2021 at 8:53 PM

      You are actually the first person to comment on my blog (out of over 800), thank you for that. The Book of Numbers is one of my favs from the Tora, especially that verse. However, I still wonder why "some of us" (not necessarily you) wish to dwell on the "Old" Testament and the New, instead of focusing on the Gospels, which is what we were instructed to do as Christians. I love your support and with your interaction. Hugs my friend and Christian Sister.

      Delete
  2. TimWaitMay 29, 2021 at 11:18 PM

    I wish I could have the courage as you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jade WinnerMay 30, 2021 at 3:04 AM

      Tim, "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear." ― Franklin D. Roosevelt.
      If you can only see what I see and so many others. I'm here and a friend if you want me to be. I am no special than anyone else... if you only knew how special you are. Reach out to me anytime... Hugs.

      Delete
  3. TimWaitMay 29, 2021 at 11:19 PM

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Friendly Advice for Parents - Post 50

Image
 Friendly Advice for Parents "My child is transgender, now what?" As a parent, I believe I can imagine what most parents may think or even feel when discovering their child being transgender.  If you were brought up like I was, you may be conservative or have conservative concerns. I am familiar with how religious beliefs or even basic biology knowledge dictate how some view the topic.  It is not my intention to say who is right or who is wrong; but I would like to ask if you are struggling with such issues, please ask yourself if you love your child.  If love comes to your heart first, not only do I believe you can overcome these issues, but also discover a very special relationship between you and your child that you cannot even imagine.   I remember growing up wanting to be physically who I was inside; but because of my conservative upbringing, that was not an option.  I remember hearing my father explain on many occasions that he wanted a daug...
Read more

SEX - THE TOPIC - POST #31

 SEX- THE TOPIC SEX, the topic that all of us transgender people cannot avoid. "Normally", one's sex life is no one else's business, but apparently for transgender people our romantic life is open for everyone to question?  I can understand one's curiosity, but the boldness so many has towards us amazes me.  Believe it or not, a lot of people actually want to know how my wife and I have sex.. OMG.  My response is oftentimes want to ask them the same question.  Do people really take a moment to consider such a question before they ask it?...there's a thought. SPOILER ALERT:  We don't.  Most  "transgender people" have little if not no sex life.  So, these erotic fantasies of us "trans" is not a reality.  So all these "She/male, Tranny" common beliefs is fictional.   FACT: Those of us who are on HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) and MTF (Male to Female), the hormones over-rides our sexual performance, which means we cannot do it ...
Read more

UPDATE: Me and the World, Post #41

Image
7-30-22 It has almost been 2 months since my last post.  Even though I have no regret in transitioning, I have been dealing with a lot of things; and I needed some time to process them.  Besides dealing with and trying to recover from all of my seizure activity, I have been dealing with a major stressor since the beginning of this year. Because of pending criminal charges on someone who I once trusted, I have not been able to go public with this information until recently.  Like this blog, it has taken me a lot of courage to share this.  So, here it is: This past January, I was sexually battered by who I thought was a friend and fellow minister, which made me a transgender statistic.  Unfortunately, some people are not who they appear and some of us pay the price.  Not only did I carry all the emotions of shame, embarrassment, anxiety and much more, each monthly court date was an emotional roller coaster.  Fortunately, this person was recently convicte...
Read more