The Love I am Blessed With, Post #38

 The Love I am Blessed With

I often reflect upon myself, and wonder how and why I am the person I have become. I am not just referring about me being transgender, but the heart I carry deep inside. First, I need to give some credit to my upbringing.  I was Blessed to have a mother that loved life and others like no one I have ever known.  She taught me to not only look for the good in people, but also look at the good in situations.  Then as I grew older, I developed my love through my faith as a Christian, which ultimately lead to me becoming an ordained minister.  Basically, I learned to develop a level of love that seems to be hidden by most of the world. Not that I am any more special than others, but it pains me knowing that others do not see the beauty and love the world offers.  Now, as a transgender person, the only way I can maintain Happiness is to remember this level of love I learned to endure.  Unfortunately, the world cannot see how my wife and I can be Happily Married with me being transgender.  So, lately I have been pondering on some examples that may help others to see love by a different perspective, a level that is deeper and more special than face value.  The following are some examples that often reminds me of the value of how and why love is defined by me:

Over the years, I have experienced many people of all ages with many different types of relationships.  I have seen many traditional relationships resulting in marriage, with some ending in divorce. I experienced young love that had no chance of success because people told them they were to young to love.  Even looking back in my former relationships, they were less than ideal.  Maybe these negative experiences where because of the perspective of love that was being sought.  Is love meant to be based on the cover of others, or is there something deeper that means more?

Then I remember when I was a Certified Nurses Assistant in a nursing home, I remember an elderly married couple who lived there.  It is my understanding that they fell in love when they both were already ill, and still found love, married, and lived out their days together Happy with each other.  How could two people fall in love with so little to offer each other?  Could there be more than I and so many others could not seem to understand?  Little did I know, that would be a lesson I would learn years later.

Well all this brings me closer to modern day.  Over 4 years ago, after developing seizures with many physical complications, I never thought I would find real love.  How could someone love me with my physical limitations with an uncertain future.  Then while trying to discover the causes of my seizures, it was discovered that I have been suffering with Gender Dysphoria.  This meant, I was Transgender, and needed to transition to have any chance of getting better. Little did I know, my prayers was answered, my soul mate was there, loving me for who I am, not hating me for what I was not.  Ultimately, we were married in 2020 before I was legally transitioned.  Now, this year, we are planning on renewing our vows to celebrate our Second Year Anniversary and to also celebrate my official transitioning reveal.  Unfortunately, for whatever reasons, many people cannot grasp how my wife and I can still love each other.  My confusion is, how can we not love each other; and how can they not see or understand that.  Love is deeper than what we have on the outside, and a marriage is more important than what occurs or does not occur in the bedroom.  It is my prayer that we will be like that elderly couple, loving each other no matter what for the rest of our days.

This is the Love I am Blessed with, and I wish the same level of love for everyone.

Hugs,

Jade