Jade's Transgender Journey

  My journey as Jade has been so interesting. I "never" thought I would receive the support that I have. Honestly, I expected to be hated by most with few friends and needing to live on a deserted island. Not only have I discovered that many people care and love me for me, some have reached out to me. Some are going through a similar journey, while some can relate or want to understand more. Is it possible? We all are born different, some of us require medical intervention at birth, while some of us it is needed as we get older. Regardless our diversity, we all are created different, but yet, still made in our God's Image. I believe embracing these differences shows God's Glory, and ultimately why He sent His one and only Earthly born Son. It's our differences that makes us special, which is why He created us as such. I walk in faith as a Child of God. :) John 3:16-19, " For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever belie...

      Even though I know transitioning for me is saving my life, and will eventually be worth it, it is not easy by no stretch of the imagination. I could go into how learning so much and adapting to the hormones are difficult, but that is not what I am referring to today.  I remember when I shared how scared I was to go out in public as my authentic me to one of my loved ones, him and my fiancé said they would go with me to keep me safe.  Even though I never doubted their sincerity, the reality is, this is a journey I need to walk myself.  For example: On a daily basis, I rarely go out in public in fear of discrimination; and when I do, my anxiety is through the roof, and I just want to get back home.  The thing is, I have been out many times, and nothing has happened.  I realize that I am missing out on so much, but the transitional journey is a lot to process on all fronts.  Throughout these many months, I have talked to others in the same...

 The Haunting Past JUST SHARING: When I knew I needed to see neuropsychologist because of my complex and rare type of seizures, I started to do my home work. One of the assignments is to write a log. Overall, that log almost ended to be a book, a biography. By the time I hit the age of 20, I discovered more about myself than I ever wanted to remember. I have not looked at that in 3 years, the same time I discovered that I was transgender. I'm afraid to write the rest to date... Jade

 If you only could live as the real you, not for other people. If you only could look in the mirror, and like what you see? If you only could live with less anxiety, with more happiness? If you only could love who you are as a person, instead of looking down on yourself? If you only could know who really loves you for who you are, instead of their ideas of you? If you only could know who your real friends are, instead of possible hidden agendas? These use to be the questions I would ask myself, If only... Now, I live as my authentic self Now, I look in the mirror and smile at who I see Now, as I transition, my anxiety is lowering, and I am discovering personal happiness. Now, I know who really loves me. Now, I know who my real friends and family are. If you only could do the same, would you? Hugs,  Jayde

 Since my public disclosure of me being Transgender because of my gender dysphoria this past November, it has been a major roller coaster ride.  However, I can honestly say that this was probably the most important decision I could have ever made.  Not only did I discover the Real Me, I also discovered that there are people in my life that "really" do love me.  I have always had quite a few people in my life who I thought cared about me; but now I know that quite of few people really do love me.  Yes, there still are a few people who are struggling with their understanding, but it is getting much more easier.  The support has truly been overwhelming in a good way.  I have never been able to look in the mirror and smile like I can now.  For this, I am so grateful for so much.  The support system from friends, family, medical professionals and my community as a whole has been amazing.  Because of all this, I believe I can honestly say, I h...

  PERHAPS THE BEST WAY TO UNDERSTAND GENDERY DYPHORIA: When a human fetus is conceived, all fetus's are neither male or female, but more female; and at about 7 weeks, gender starts to develop. In order for a healthy and "normal" person to develop gender wise, physical, neurological, and psychological path ways need to match. When one or two of these do not match, gender dysphoria can develop. When a person's emotional / psychological development does not match physical gender, the anxiety and depression can be so bad that physical transitioning becomes necessary. Like myself, some people will try to live based off of physical gender birth to please others. Unfortunately, this can lead to serious health problems, which is exactly what happened to me.... I was able to "fake it" for 48 years, while carrying so much pain, depression, and anxiety to last a life time... maybe this will help a little more for others to be more educated on Gender Dysphoria. - H...

 Well, it has been two months since I disclosed to the world about my gender dysphoria and that I will be transitioning. Overall, I have been pleasantly surprised on the support I have received by so many. Unfortunately, there have been a few who just do not know how to process it, which is understandable. However, the past few weeks the challenge has not been about others processing my transition, but with myself. There is so much more to transitioning than just putting on clothes, make-up, and changing ones name. For me, the big challenge is the emotional development part of it all. All my life I buried the super sensitive side of me, and I tried to be more aggressive for my success; but it was not the real me. Now, since I opened my heart with my authentic self, the deep emotions, feelings, and behaviors started to re-develop. I am finally allowing myself to feel and to approach things by what comes natural. This is the challenging process, really learning how to be me. Be...

  MAYBE Now that I am without an "official" clergy assignment, I may take this time to share my story as a transitioning transgender person. The struggle is real and the battles are on all fronts. However, my prayer is by sharing this, maybe more people will understand that gender dysphoria is real just a little bit more. The how's', why's, and what if's I may be able to cover a little better. For example: Why did it take 49 years to address it "officially"? Can I be "healed" from it?, and so much more.... Maybe God waited so long so I would be courageous enough to face it? Maybe He waited for the time to be right to share that we all are born different for a reason.... just maybe? Maybe I do need to be healed, or maybe humanity's heart and soul needs to be addressed all around without prejudice? I love to talk about God's Word and quote it, which I can do; but "maybe" He's asking more from me, to "walk it...

Jade – 30 Days Public      Well, after 30 days of disclosing publicly that I have been diagnosed with gender dysphoria and that I will be transitioning from male to female, it has been an emotional roller coaster ride to say the least. At first, I honestly did not know what to expect, maybe on the good side have a few supporters. I expected to be another national statistic by being majorly hated and discriminated by most. However, the opposite happened, and the positive support has been overwhelming. From day one of disclosing to our church family, to friends and family, to even our new community, I prepared for the worse. Since then, I have discovered that Happy Tears do exist, which is something I was not allowed to appreciate throughout my young 49 previous years. I cannot express in words on how much I appreciate the levels of humanity that has been given to me recently. Painfully, this does not apply to everyone. Unfortunately, not all welcomed my diagnoses. ...

 The following is the link to the video disclosure I shared to the church and the world: Just Imagine

  WOW, WHAT A DAY: First, I got cleared for some volunteer service in my community; and then I had a couple unexpected conversations. The first one was with a fellow community minister / civil servant, and boy did we get deep into life challenges and how our Lord applies to them all. Ultimately, I ended up disclosing my dysphoria, and he openly accepted me for who I am. Then out of no where, one of my siblings contacted me, and we talked on the phone for a little while. He told me what was going in his life, and I disclosed what was going on in mine.... His response, "Why were you scared to tell me? I still love you. " OMG, I am feeling so overwhelmed in personal liberation and happiness, finally able to be who I am. All those personal fears are going away, and I am feeling on top of the world. How far my dysphoria is going to take me is not sure; but after 49 years, I have discovered peace and happiness on levels I never thought would was possible. I feel so Blessed ...

  DISCLOSING & DISCOVERING ME Now, that I know who I am as a person, it has been a time to disclose my true self to the people in my life. By doing so, I have discovered so many things about myself. For instance, sometimes I have heard, “God made you a certain way, it is wrong for you to change that”. While looking at that at face value, one can see how that may make sense. Then I look back as far as I can remember and see how I was and how I felt years ago, before my social conditioning. When I was young, before the age of gender division starts, I loved life. Then throughout the years, I was told how I had to dress, how I had to walk, how I had to sit, how I had to talk, how I had to wear my hair, how I had to shake hands, what type of careers where acceptable, how to fight alpha’s to earn respect, and what hobbies were acceptable. I was taught how I had to be, to be a “man”. For every day, I consciously focused on perfecting each one of those tasks. Like an actor, I ...

  JUST IMAGINE: Just imagine being diagnosed with a condition that undoes everything physical that you have tried to be as a person. Just imagine needing to tell friends and family that you are not the person who they have known. Just imagine the fear of the unknown, but knowing it is necessary in order to live a physical, mental, and spiritual healthy life. Just imagine not knowing how many people you will lose in your life as you know some will not understand that your condition is real, not a choice, and a medically diagnosed one. Just imagine knowing that some church members will turn against you because of their lack of understanding. Just imagine becoming physically a different person by not only wearing different clothes and hair style, but also needing a different name. Just imagine loving everyone else, but wonder if everyone else will still love you. Just imagine discovering you are that different person. These are just some of the challenges and fears that exist with a p...

  JADE'S JOURNEY - INTRO - Imagine growing up and living your life needing to be someone you are not. Imagine living in fear of letting others down and not being good enough for those you love. Imagine feeling like you are constantly living undercover all the time. Imagine taking high risk dangerous jobs and living risky personal lifestyles to prove you are cool and tough enough. Imagine the idea of being physically hurt or killed is less scary than sharing the truth. Imagine living this fake life so deep and so long that you forget who you are. Imagine the stress and anxieties that build up in time. Imagine how this would affect your health, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I am Jade, I am transgender, and this is my story of transitioning into a transgender female.