Jade's Transgender Journey

      It has been almost 9 months since I told the world I am transgender, 7 months since I started HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy), 2 months since I started estrogen, and one week since my legal name change.  Now, I sit back and ponder over my journey, what a ride.  All my life I have struggled with social awkwardness, with so many things I simply could not understand.  From not knowing who I was growing up, to being who some expected me to be, while being named after the person who abused me throughout my  life, I lost my identity.  The level of depression and anxiety was beyond understanding and toleration.  The haunting memories alone made life difficult living.  Fortunately, in the past year, I have been able to start to develop my own identity.  In the past week alone, I have discovered a level of peace that I did not know ever existed.  It is difficult to explain, but I am now discovering who I really am...not the new ...

  7/21/21 Before my name and gender marker hearing      Yesterday was a day that I am going to remember for the rest of my life, the day I was given my own identity.  All my life until now I have carried the identity as a Junior and male.  Even though I believe it can be honorable in being named after someone, but it can also be difficult for the person.  For me, I struggled with my name for a few reasons including struggling with self identity, gender dysphoria; and every time I signed my name, I was reminded of the one person who has mistreated me most of my life.  Imagine living all your life with that pain and anxiety.  So, yesterday when I had to testify about some of the events in my life, the emotions were overwhelming. What was amazing was, I was expecting two hearings; but because of my extenuating circumstances the judge offered to do it all right there and then. My feelings of emotions took over and I could not hold back the t...

 You are not alone The thought of being alone can be very scary.  I remember when I was diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria, my Neuropsychologist told me, "You are not alone".  Little did I know how True she was.  Because I knew I needed to transition for my health and peace, I was afraid.  Not only was I afraid and preparing to lose everyone in my life, I was also preparing to not having anyone else who can relate to who I am.  Honestly, when I was diagnosed as transgender with gender dysphoria, I did not know as much as I thought I did.  I thought with some medication and dressing differently was it, but it is so much more than that.  Since then, not only did I learn about the "real" science behind Transgender and Gender Dysphoria, but I realized what it entails, and that I am not alone.  I am not only not alone with with friends and family, but there are many people like me in the world, and there are a lot of resources for us. Recently, I hav...

 "I want your suicide rate to go up" was the first topic that was on my mind this morning while I was in the shower getting ready for today. Why?  Like always, I check my Facebook, and I sign in on a public online support group for transgender persons.  Unfortunately, that group is like life, it is not always a safe place.  Someone solicited and told me that this morning: "I want your suicide rate to go up" because of being transgender.   Even though that person was banned from the group, it still happened. The other day, someone asked me, "How do you handle the negative feed back because of your transition?" Historically, the heart break has been from some family members and acquaintances in their non-acceptance, which I understand.  In the past week, I know of 3 other transgender persons that have been asked to commit suicide because of who they are.  Wow.  Apparently, 60% assaults', 40% suicide attempts and 20% suicide success rates a year...